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Comments- How To Monger Them

If you are an upcoming blogger, you must know how jolly good you feel when a blighter comments on your nincompoopery holy piece of art. If you are not and if you are a woman, it is as good as someone presenting you with a diamond and in case you are a male it means beer free of cost.
But the problem, my dear reader, is that most of the good blogs are sparsely or hardly commented. Rather, generally the most commented blogs should be emanating Methane, you know what I mean, don't you?
Now let me for simplicity sake take you a mini tour of such blogs.
Here goes a blog account of a AGGB (Apne Gali Ka Great Blogger):
Yesterday was Sunday. Even then Sun came. You must wonder because there was never any Mon, Tues, Wednes, Thurs, Fri or Satur that has come on the other days. So I felt very happy and went for shipping, no, no sorry, it's fishing. I sat there for hours together and caught what I think is a very rare species of fish. It was black in color and did not look spherical contradicting my expectations. Unfortunately it did not move after I caught it, I am now wearing it on my left feet and still waiting here for its friend to get hooked, I am really eager to wear fish on my feet.

Posted from my i-Phone.

Comments :
C1: Oh man, you are truly amazing; I did not understand what you wrote when I read it for first time. Only after reading after 2.5 times did I realize what a metamorphic genius your post is. You are simply awesome! I am really proud to know you! Keep them coming!
C2: Great stuff man, I nearly wept reading your post! Seriously man, my empathies with you.
G.B : @C1 thank you very much (wo)man, just pray that I will find the second shoe fish.
@C2: let's meet up for coffee.
C3: Oh wow! You went for shopping? What did you buy?
GB: @C3 hehehe, i like your sense of humor!
C45: For better fishing encounters read my blog at https://xyz@#$%^&*.com

The list goes on........

Now, after spending so many days envying such blogs, I have come up with an idiots guide to monger comments. The tips would be very useful to all the upcoming bloggers to get comments on their posts.

The first tip is tele-marketing.
A worked out example for your sake.
(Upcoming blogger)UB: (calls up his friend) hey man! How are you? long time, no see.
(Unsuspecting friend)UF: Oh yeah, hi, how are you Rajesh.
I am not Rajesh
Yeah, tell me Rakesh.
I am not Rakesh either.
Then why did you call me?
Dude, you are supposed to comment on my blog..!
Oh yeah! Man your blog is ssoooooooo bor***
Hello, I am not able to hear you
Hallo!
Listen, looks like my signal is weak, you are getting it?
Yeah!
Are you able to hear clearly that my signal is weak?
Yeah! Yeah!
Then why don't you leave the comment on my blog, ok?
Yeah!
Sure?
Yeah!

Beep beep beep.......

This way you are making sure that the comment is coming.

Now look at the second way. The barter system

Smart Friend (SF): Man I need to borrow money, you have some 20K?
Unsuspecting Upcoming Blogger (UUB): NO man, I am out of cash!
Hey, I read your blog.
Is it?
It's too cool man. I liked your style. See if you can manage the money.
Oh! By jove! I am saving it for an occasion, I think, I can......
Hey, I left a comment on your blog, did you check?
HEY! I think I have some cash in my locker, you can take it right away!

Things get simpler if you are a manager.

Sub: Boss, I need to take a few days’ leave
Boss: How many days?
Well 5, may be?
That's appalling, you can’t leave the project and go like that, I cant approve!.
Boss! I read your recent post, it is good.
Oh! Yeah?
My friends liked it too, they are thinking of commenting on it!
Oh? Is it? Well, how many days leave you want? 5 is it? May be we can manage, go ahead!

These are just samples, if you liked this I will start writing the book.

Please do not comment... ;-)

Monsoon ...I Missed Her..!!

A lot of commotion deafened me. I felt a weight on my chest. How much I tried to lift open my eyelids but felt drugged… For one last time, I jerked myself awake and forced open my eyes to see that I had dozed off last night while reading.

But what was this endless hoof taps?? I had one quick look around the dimly lit room to find everything as it was the previous night. With sleep still hovering in my eyes, I dragged myself out of the bed wondering what could have been making such an unsoothing chorus….
Barefooted , I walked to the window and pulled apart the curtains that hung dark and heavy on my room. With every inch of the curtain giving way to the morning outside, my eyes grew wider and wider. With the last inch that the curtain drew, sleep seemed to have flushed out of my eyes…. I was aghast to see what I had never seen before…… The Monsoon Shower Of Noida.
I scuttled across the room looking for my slippers but they seemed to be fast asleep, somewhere away from my reach. The mesmerizing thought of enjoying the first spell became so obtuse that I let go off my search and ran to the terrace. Down splashed the rain across my face sending a chill, a feel of purity, innocence, freedom through every corner of my body. I stood there, all hypnotized by the aura of the beautiful morning that had settled on the city.

I let my eyes look a little distance away. The so far quiet trees swayed to the rhythm of the rains as if they too greeted the monsoons. As I edged on towards the creaking wall of the roof, I could just manage to trace out the outline of a twosome in the balcony of other side of park . I strained my eyes through the sheet of shower and there I could see that it was not only me and the trees who were enchanted by the spell but also a sweet couple, locked in each others embrace, kissing each other, welcoming the rains in their own special way, letting the rains rejuvenate their love, feeling the bloom of a new love in them.

The overcast sky, the refreshing rain,the dancing lush green trees, the loving couple…. Ah!
How much I missed HER !!!!!

" I wake up in the morning , to the sound of raindrops
And I wonder where you'd be, And I wonder if it's raining there
Wherever you are , I hope you think of me, When it's raining there.... "

When you are gone...!!

I loved you more than the words can say..

But I forgot to show it every day..


Now the days are gloomy, the nights are sad..

Where are the pleasantries I once had..


The lily n roses bloomed in the lawn..

I wonder where that serenity has gone..


The sky was beaming with hope and light..

Now the clouds of despair have obscured the sight..


I loved the care and tenderness you showed..

Now I am sulking...dejected and bored...


Why I have to go through all this..

When I was completely in bliss..


Why at all this happened...why you had to go...

I am so incomplete without you...didn't you know...


I thought everything was going fine...

But slowly the bond was losing its shine...


You were thinking I was getting indifferent and no longer care...

And I thought...my zeal to transcend - you will share...


You were thinking I am getting busier and don't have time for you...

And I thought...these tough days are just afew...


You were thinking I am not there when you need me much...

And I thought...you would feel the implicit touch...


You were thinking I always forget and get late...

And I thought...you would be a bit more patient and will wait...


You were thinking I was taking everything for granted...

And I thought...you'd understand what I really wanted...


You were thinking all your complaints are going in vain...

And I thought...things would be fine soon again...


"Two bodies, one soul" drifted further and further...

As if two strangers apprehensive of each other...


The sweet nothings gave way to sour arguments...

Bitter recriminations stole the cozy moments...


Finally...you decided to part...

I didn't know how to react...


You thought I'll stop you...

And I thought you'll stop on your own...


But that was not to be...

And the bridge that connected us was blown....


And we were stranded on our respective sides...

With bloated egos too stubborn to break the ice...


Now there's nothing left but to repent and repine...

Does it matter now...whose fault it was...yours or mine...??

An Answer I Seek..!!


I look out of my window,
lost in my thoughts,
watching the stillness,
waiting for something to move.

The only movement,
is the gentle sway,
of the trees in the wind,
dancing with the breeze.

There's nobody around,
on the road, the path,
in the park, or the sky
there's no life.

I watch the world,
from my comfort and warmth,
and I wonder where you are,
who you're with, what you're doing.

Are you thinking of me now,
as my thoughts stray to you,
I picture us out there,
together in the world.

Right now it's just me,
here with only my voice,
when it's yours that I want,
as I wonder if you're alone too.

You feel so close,
yet the distance is there,
suffocating as always,
as it keeps us apart.

My questions are left,
hanging in the air,
the silence drinks them in,
and the answers are lost.

Is somebody else,
thinking the same as me,
asking about you,
with nobody to answer them.

A Boy..!!

Against the world
I stand alone
the wall at my back
With no were left to turn
in silent defeat I sat
Pondered the path
that brought me here
the theivery and lies
and alone I wipe away the tears
that fall softly from my eyes
Against the world
I battled hard
and valiantly I fought
but in the end all thats left
is a lonely boy
with his back to the wall

Narcissism

Some years later

I thirst for love

After I found out that I am tired

And that I have been defeated

The cop of my vanity has been broken

Therefore

I reserved a seat in every plane

For my sadness

After a while

I canceled it all

No land accepted me

Nor this in the east

Nor that in the west

Narcissism has destroyed me

I searched for a heart

But

There was none...!!!!

Nav Varsh

This is for all my friends & near and dear one .....


Nav-varsh me tere sapno ko , Unmukt anant udaan mile
Har khwaab ko poora kar de jo , Tujhko aisa armaan mile
Koi hridaya se tujhko chahe , Tujhe preet ka har sammaan mile

Nadiyon ki tarah ka pran mile , Parvat jaisa abhimaan mile
Koi raah tujhe na veeran mile , Har raah ko ek anjaam mile

Chehre pe nahi dil par bhi ho , Tujhko aisi muskaan mile
Har subah teri ummeed bhari , Har shaam ko teri shaan mile

Har raat tumhari neendo ko , Kisi lori ka aaram mile
Ham naaz kare tujh pe e-dost , Tujhko aisa imaan mile

Is saal tu aisa kar jaye , Dushman se tujhe samman mile
Koi dukhi na ho teri basti me , Sabko khushiyon ka jaam mile

Antank ke bhadkte sholon ko , Ek chir anant viraam mile

Just Because..!!

Just because- I'm quiet, doesn't mean I don't have a lot to say.
Just because- I appear happy, doesn't mean everything is okay.
Just because- I'm sarcastic, doesn't mean I don't take things seriously.
Just because- I forgive, doesn't mean I forget.
Just because- I don't listen to your problems, doesn't mean I don't care.
Just because- I'm gullible, doesn't mean I can be cheated.
Just because- I'm stubborn, doesn't mean I'm not easygoing.
Just because- I don't know much, doesn't mean I'm stupid.
Just because- I don't show my feelings, doesn't mean I don't have any.
Just because- I'm honest, doesn't mean I'm outspoken.
Just because- I'm not like you, doesn't mean I'm weird.
Just because- I'm unsure, doesn't mean I'm afraid.

Head vs. Heart

I think too much and I wonder a lot. Sometimes to the extend that my mind doesn't really seem to have a firm grasp on all the thoughts in my head because it's just too much. It's not that I want to plan every move or think every time before I do something. It's more like I want to analyze everything I do and everything that happens to me. I think I'm always looking for a reason, even when there isn't really an apparent one.

A lot of people have the same thing probably and it's pretty much a human trait, but still I wonder if we wouldn't think so much about everything and just accept things the way they are and the way they happen, wouldn't we be able to live much happier lives?

I'm a person who acts on emotions, my heart always wins over my head, but afterwards, the head will analyze everything into the most minuscule detail. I don't know, but maybe I should just let things come as they come. It's not like I'm really gonna change anything much by analyzing it. I think my rational mind wants to learn from it, maybe even protect myself from doing the same thing again if it hurts me or becomes a disadvantage for me. But since I act on my feelings, I would probably do the same thing all over again.

It's a pretty dual thing, makes me think that we people are walking dichotomies.. our feelings and our rationality are often complete opposites.. How do we balance this? I often wonder about it, and I can't find a satisfying answer.

Obviously we do this most of the time and we are able to live happy lives for the most part of our existence, but still I think it's an interesting question, though a bit philosophical of course, to ask how we balance the constant battle of head vs. heart, to put it simply.

I am back..!!

Naahiii, Nope, Nyet, Illaiya....I wasn't on a cross country bike expedition spreading awareness on N1H1,AIDS, Cancer, Polio, Piles,Constipation..or any thing of that sort..neither i was selling agarbattees, detergent or Harman Baweja DVDs door to door... and to all my well wisher friends....nor I was on my honeymoon trip to Switzerland.....I am still single and rocking :).. neither outsource to Vietnam or Afghanistan ...!!

Last 7-8 months I was totally involved in the development of a bad model as a team leader ...The work was quite challenging and sometimes irritating because of frequent change requests .... This is the first large project in last 2 and half year in which I was involved deeply .... but at the end it gives me a big relief and satisfaction when I see the application running smoothly... the sleepless night and the hard work finally paid off .....!!

This project taught me a lot as a developer , as a analyzer as a designer... We generally work under a extreme deadline pressure... and we write the code which just work and gives the correct output... which may not be the clean code and prone to some bugs in future..... since, I read a book named "A clean Code" by Robert C Martin. I am quite impressed with the ideas and trying to write clean code as much as possible at the first place itself and suggested the same to my teammates.. As there is a saying "Dirty code is just like a dirty diaper".

I remember one funny incident ... once I put my status message in gtalk as "Trying to write a clean code " a dear friend of mine commented " Ask your Mom or your kamwali bai to help you out..!!" And I replied "There is no Surf Excel invented so far ..thus neither your mom, nor any of your kamwali bai can help"... better help yourself rather than banging your head later on....!!

A LeSSoN..!!

The eerie silence outside .. the cool breeze coming from window and the never ending song on my pavillion made a perfect setup and mood to write....


Sick of the day

Sick of the night

And I row the boat

With hope in light

With memoirs in mind

And love in heart

Confusion throngs my thought

What she is and what she was

I don't know who I was

To her foundness and to her friendliness

What to say of the lust I had

What to say the dreams I beamed

What to say of the words we spoke

What to say of the day we broke

What to say of the melodious fable

Is it the first wind that ripped the ship?

Or the first storm that taught me a lesson

That friendship and love are two side of coin

And yet one never meets the other...!!

Superstore Experience

It was again the damn 11th .. I hate this date of every month ... It is a day on which we have decided to go for a shopping of our monthly chores... It was this Sunday, After a lot of kich kich and jhik jhik I surrendered to my roomate only to see that invincible smile on his face! Okay okay you win…I am ready.

Ya the point… We reached Reliance Fresh superstore…I tell you, it seemed that the whole of gurgaon has been fitted in that tiny store, it was that jam packed !! Took a trolley and entered the store…..the trolley was flawed with respect to various laws of physics which I diligently learnt… Kash kuch saal pahle sikha hota I would have been a better engineer working for a world class company ... I will tell you later why I say so…..

Ya the shopping begins…both my roomate were on a shopping spree filling up the trolley….

The Action: With that trolley I BUMP!!!!! That too straight into this lady’s ass..shucks!!!!! I am so dead..so so dead….I could imagine myself in the court in front of the law, in front of the lady, blaming me for that so-called sexual assault….No I didn’t do it intentionally….Its not my fault, the trolley's height...no no your height.....

The Reaction: She turned back….

Her face: burning eyes, fluffing nostrils, clenched teeth…

My face: innocent-lamb-look, kid-after-breaking glass-look, I-am-not-guilty look…..
Hell no..I didn’t do that on purpose…I just prayed that my roomate isn’t around…luckily the lady didn’t say anything..it was a hairline escape! Phew…

Flaw number one: It is not always that “Every action has equal and opposite reaction”…it should be rephrased, Mr. Newton….”Every non-intentional action shouldn’t have equal and opposite reaction”….That’s it…
The Moral: Check the trolley that you take, the wheels should not be jammed…because it can defy Newton’s second law….as it did…I applied force, it didn’t move…I applied more, it slided more than what was required and BUMP!!…

The Law: ”Every object in motion or at rest continues to be in that state until an external force is applied to it”

In my words: “Every object should either move freely when or should not move at all when external force is applied to it”.

The results of the experiment could be a disaster!

Anyways all said and done…..I move further…deliberately towards that cute gal. She was coming towards me and I was towards her, even the background music was there….ek ladki ko dekha to aisaa laga :) .. and finally our paths meet….and we are stuck with our trolleys…and we face the known confusion of what happens when I move left (which is her right) anticipating that the gal would take the way right (which is her left). However, she takes her left and I take my right in that confusion only to get stuck again…I smile at her, she smiles back….I leave my way, struggling with the trolley…and there she goes…smiling with a thank you ! Yes !!!!
5Kg rice…. 250 RS
My favourite biscuits…50 RS

Confusions like this with a beautiful gal smiling at you….. priceless !!!!!

Roomates told me to wait so that he shops around and comes back, I was instructed that not to move from there….He leaves…suddenly after sometime I realise that everyone there..only aunties and gals…were looking me as if I am some kinda serial offender! I just realised that I was standing in the middle of the sanitary pad section…Gooooodddd !! Bhago yahaan se…why me??? Achha hua…that aunty was not here..because it is said that…first time its coincidence…second time its happenstance and the third time……Its enemy’s action ! I almost dragged the trolley and myself out of the section…Phew!

Standing there waiting for roomie was torturous…in that congested space which had barely 25 square feet of place to move around…I was being displaced and stared out in disgust by every other aunt, uncles, betes and betis…in that half an hour of wait I must have travelled at least a kilometre in that 25 square feet area!

Suddenly I get this call from my friend, ya the very old pal I was telling her about all this happening there and got lost without realizing that I am laughing aloud talking to her….and as I hung up…I could see the whole world stop…looking at me with all the think boxes above their head (ya ya similar to the ones in the Chacha Choudhary comics)…think boxes which had a picture of a “ground nut” and then in some of them picture of a “nut” and some of them “a pea nut”…and hey here is this gal on whose toe I accidentally stepped on, the think box said “a screw driver !” I rolled my eyes with raised brows with the question … "what????"

Later in the billing queue I realized this that I should have paid more attention to the optimization theory classes rather than just writing poems…It would have helped me chose the shortest line moving at fastest speed taking least time! Because you actually hate the feeling that the queue which you thought to be the shortest is not actually the shortest just because the queue on the other counter seems shorter! And then the feeling that your queue is not moving at all with respect to the other queues…feels like a looser! We forget this that we aren’t the only smart asses around…in fact every other smart ass thinks that he will join the shortest queue only to realise that every body else is thinking that only!

“Bhai sahab aap galat jagah pe khade hain…..” An uncle ji’s voice broke my thought process, I realised he was kinda rude…but somehow I held back the urge to say this back…”uncle pehle to I am no bhai sahab…I am just 25, doosra…3 logo ke baad aap bhi meri hi jagah pe honge! Hai na….”

On my way back to home sweet home, I thought.....

1. Laws are made by circumstances, circumstances are not made by laws, not all laws are harmless !
2. Some confusions in life are meant to be priceless !
3. No matter how fast the queue moves, you move at your own pace !

Why don’t I have a girlfriend?

This blog is based on the research paper presented in IEEE by one of the German scientist few year back on the topic "Why it is difficult to find a girl friend".Though the author proved his point with various scientific terms which i had a tough time to understand.Because I am not at all good in understanding the complex integral calculus or jumbled organic Chemistry...rather than writing a complex , organized bugs free codes for my software application .. Thanks to MSDN and Google .. :) .

Informal and anecdotal evidence from the scientific community has long pointed to the difficulty in securing decent,long-term female companionship. To date, however there will be not many who have thought seriously and done any study on the topic.AS,I myself fall under the category of "No Girl Friend" thought of investigating "why it is impossible to find a Girl Friend" and in the due course i came up with a proof using simple statistical calculus..Since I am working on various statistical and forecasting model projects, that gave me the valuable inputs to formulate and strongly back my proof with. I thought of sharing my investigation using this blog .. So have fun while reading.....!!

Why don’t I have a girlfriend?

This is a question that practically every male has asked himself at one point or another in his life. Unfortunately, there is rarely a hard and fast answer to the query. Many men try to reason their way through a series of ridiculous explanations, each more self-deprecating than the last: “Is it because I’m too shy, and not aggressive enough? Is it my opening lines? Am I a boring person? Am I too fat or too thin? Or am I simply ugly and completely unattractive to women?” When all other plausible explanations have been discounted, most end up with the conclusion that “there must be Something Wrong with me”.

Not the author, though. I, for one, refuse to spend my life brooding over my lack of luck with women. While I’ll be the first to admit that my chances of ever entering into a meaningful relationship with someone special are practically non-existent, and I must say that it has nothing to do with any inherent problem with me. Instead, I firmly believe that the situation can be readily explained using nothing more than some elementary and statistical calculus.

Before,anyone suspect that my standards for women are too high, let me allay those fears by enumerating in advance my three criteria for the match. First, the potential girlfriend must be approximately my age— say 23 plus or minus two or three years. Second, the girl must be beautiful. Third, she must also be reasonably intelligent—she doesn’t have to be Mensa material,but the ability to carry on a witty, insightful argument would be nice. So there are—three simple demands, which I’m sure everyone will agree.

I shall endeavor to make this proof as rigorous as the available data from various sources permits.And I should note, too, that there will be no statistical trickery involved here. I have cited all my sources and provided all relevant calculations in case anyone wishes to conduct their own independent review.

Let’s now take a look at the figures.

Number of people on EARTH : 6,72,13,56,000 (According to U.S. Census Bureau)

We start with the largest demographic in which I am interested-namely, the population of this planet.

Who are FEMALE : 3,34,98,52,000

I have thought that, given the title above this criteria goes without saying. In case anyone missed it, though, I am looking for exclusively female companionship. Accordingly, roughly half of the Earth’s population must be discounted. Sorry, guys.

In India : 49,57,38,169 (According to 2001 Census)

I further restrict the geographical area of interest to the country i lived in.That is not to say I’m against the idea of inter-territory romance,I just don’t assess the prospect of finding myself a beautiful Italian girl or a babe from USA ,UK ,Russia or dazzling beauty from some European countries as statistically significant.

Inside my Work Terrain : 31,35,90,791

Being a software professional,I will most likely spend nearly my entire life living and working in following states of india AP,Bihar,Bengal,Delhi,Haryana,Karnatka,Maharastra,UP. So it is these types of regions that the numbers have been narrowed.

In urban cities : 1,25,43,631

My reasons for doing so are not motivated out of contempt for those who are staying in villages or economically disadvantaged,but rather by simple probability.In fact my chances of meeting the girls staying in the rural area of these states is either in person or on the Internet, are understandably low.Still 60% of the population in these sates are living in rural areas so I left with merely 40% of population.

Currently aged 21 to 25 : 1,66,91,400

Being neither a pedophile nor a geriatrophile, I would like to restrict my search for love to those whose age is approximately equal to my own. This is where things get a bit tricky, for two reasons: First, the census data is nearly 7 years old, and second, the “population by age” tables in census data are not separated into individual ages but are instead quantized into “14–16” (of whom there are 1,27,44000) and “16–18” (population 1,25,46000).Women aged 14 to 16 in 2001 will be aged 21 to 23 in 2008 and aged 16 to 18 in 2001 will be aged 23 to 25,in this group I’m interested.

Now assuming “14–16” girls’ ages are uniformly distributed, we have
(1,27,44000 * 23-21+1)/ (16-14+1) = 8496000
Similarly, of 2001’s “16–18” category, there are now
(1,25,46000 * 25-23+1)/ (18-16+1) = 8364000

The sum 1,68,60,000 represents the total number of females within my chosen age limit.
Unfortunately, some of the girls have died since the census was taken. The death rate in india is 6.4 per 1000 population, so roughly considering 1%, thus the true number of so-far eligible bachelorettes is 1,66,91,400.

Who are Beautiful and Intelligent : 3,78,894

Personal attraction, both physically and personality-wise, is an important instigator of any relationship. Of course, beauty is a purely subjective trait whose interpretation may vary from person to person.It is not necessary for me to define beauty here except to state that for any given beholder, it will probably be normally distributed amongst the population.Without going into the specifics,precisely I will say that for a girl to be considered really beautiful to me, she should fall at least two standard deviations above the norm.Considering same with the intelligence,I found around 2.27% of female who can be considered as beautiful and intelligent.

Not already committed : 1,89,447

I could find no hard statistics on the number of above-noted girls who are already married, engaged, or otherwise committed to a significant other, but informal observation and anecdotal evidence leads me to believe that the proportion is somewhere around 50%. For reasons of morality (and perhaps too self-preservation),I’m not about to start relation with girls who have husband and boyfriend. Accordingly, that portion of the female population must also be considered off-limits.

Also might like me: 30,027

Naturally, finding a suitable girl who I really like is no guarantee that she’ll like me back. Assuming, as previously mentioned, that personal attractiveness is normally distributed,there is a mere 50% chance that any given female will consider me even marginally attractive. In practice, however, people are unlikely to consider pursuing a relationship with someone whose looks and personality just barely suffice. Let’s make the rather conservative assumption, that a girl would choose someone if and only if they were at least one standard deviation above her idea of average.In that case, my calculation reveals only 15.8655% of females would consider someone with my physical characteristics and personality acceptable as a potential romantic partner.

Conclusion :

It is here, at a pool of 30,027 acceptable females,that I end with my statistical analysis. At first glance, a datable population of 30,027 may not seem like such a low number, but considerthis: AS I can not start any relationship without meeting the girl once. Assuming I have to meet with a new girl about my age , I would have to date for 4289 weeks before I found one of the 30,027. That’s very nearly 82 years. As a North Indian male born in the early 1980s, my life expectancy is probably little more than 70 years, so I can safely say that I will be dead before I find the proverbial girl of my dreams. Come to think of it, she’ll probably be dead too.

Silence

In the quiet comfort of a balmy winter night, down with cold and cough I lay down on my cozy bed with my black pavilion to write about the only companion I have for this night, the only friend who will see me through tonight - Silence.

My friend is dead in the morning hours when it is consumed by the cacophony of the office.But now at this sudden moment it pays me a visit, like it has always done.

Silence is the real conversation between friends, not the saying but the never needing to say anything is what makes the conversation golden.I am reminded of several instances in my life when I thought I was all alone and I was wrong.

A true friend of mine who relied more on pen and paper than his tongue once remarked to me - When you find it difficult with words,when they wont come out and die down within your chest, when your lips quiver and your eyes melt , that is when you would want to write and that is when you could hear a tear drop, that is when you would understand Silence....!!

When you stand in front of a woman and the woman has so much to say, yet says nothing,the silence becomes deafening, that is when you get to know the mighty scream of silence.

Silence - The eerie stranger, the only argument which cannot be countered, the welcome friend, the parting gift, the very womb of music.

I end with this quote I read somewhere -
"Silence is but, the music between the notes"

Quantum of Solace..!!

This is not written by me but my best friend wrote it for his company magazine. I found it interesting so thought of putting it here as he doesn't own any blog himself..

I have passed 2 years of my life as a development support in sustenance team. Ring a bell? Yes I have been reading others code and touching it here and there and have been very busy in doing so all this time. I had read once, touching the code base is the last resort one must take but I have never lived in this utopia till now ;-) !!

Now my code is in production doing well in some cases while not doing so well in some cases and I realize all the time that it’s the readability of the code and all that basics we are never taught in college, happily forget during our practice (writing code) and make others lives miserable.

I never knew commenting the code could be a bad bad practice. And with all that green color as the default setting in the swanky IDEs from Microsoft it becomes even more alluring to add those green lines every where, QA tells the same!! Comment your code!!. Makes it more environment friendly, doesn’t it?? Well they start lying after sometime!!! That’s when I have read it and done a bad fix !!!!!!! See, I am an angry young man… and many of my colleagues are.

Have you ever thought of writing a meaningful name for a variable rather than writing a comment to explain it and remove the comment? Or have you ever thought of refactoring a line of comment into a method or a class and remove the comment? Have I ever ? ? Well yes I have started thinking seriously about these things after I have read this wonderful book called " Clean Code" by "Robert C Martin" on my best friend’s suggestion.

Something I want to reiterate from this book, “Development is a social activity”. I hope you would enjoy reading it and bring it to practice.

Mausam

A poem from my  diary.. hope you will like it ...!!


होली बिती , बिती दिवाली  
ईद भी हमने यार मनाली  
वो मौसम कब आएगा  
जब हम तुम दोनो यार मिलेंगे  
अभी तो अच्छी बीत रही है  
अपनी दिन और ये रातें  
चाहे मौसम हो कोई भी  
सर्दी , गर्मी या बरसातें  
पर जीवन रूपी इस झरने में  
छाया है सूखा बरसों से  
वो बाहार कब आएगी  
जब हम तुम दोनो यार मिलेंगे  
अब एक है अपनी दुख सुख सारी  
एक है पहचान हमारी  
एक है अपने धड़कन और साँसें  
एक ही अब आँसू और आहें  
मंज़िल एक फिर जुदा क्यों राहें  
वो मौसम कब आएगी  
जब हम तुम दोनो साथ चालेंगे  
एक सरीखे अपने सपने  
इस सच से मत फेर निगाहें  
अजनबियों सा मत रह कटकर  
आ करले मुझसे भी दो बातें  
वो मौसम कब आएगी  
जब पत्थर दिल ये पिघलेंगे!!  

Got a mail ... Sweets @ my Desk ..!!

Mere ek param mitra ki shikayat thi ki main kabhi unke bare main nahi likhta .... aaj socha unki yeh shikayat bhi door kar di jaye ... aur ek blog kyon na unko shamarpit ki jai...To yeh blog mere ek khas dost ke liye ...unki kahani, meri jubani....!!

Aajkal ke IT professional ke liye ek achhi company milna .. compnay mil jaaye to achha project milna ... aur agar wo bhi mil jaye to achhi team ka milna .... kafi muskil hai..But mere mitra kafi khuskismat hain jinhain yeh teeno khushian mili hai ... khaskar teesri khushiyan kuch jyada hi mili. jiski wajah se bechare bahut padeshan hain...!! Unki padeshani ka pata ap ko bhi iss blog padhne ke bad chal jayega.


Subha Utha , Nahaya ..Mast Deo Lagaya...
Usko Yaad Kiya Aur Muskuraya...

Muskurahat Ka Karan Tha ,Sapna jo achhi aai Thi Raat Ko
Main Company Ka Ceo Aur My Dream Girl Was My Pmo...

Mann To Kiyan So Jaon, Swapn Ki Duniya Mein Laut Jaun...
Phir Socha Uski Jhalak Paani Hain , Kahin Late Na Ho Jaun...

Kanghi Ghumya,Goggles Lagaya ,
Ban ke smart, Kiya Bike Self Start....

Pahooncha Office... Khola Pc ...
Outlook Main Top Par Mail Uska Paaya...

Mailbox Dekh Sanatta Chaya
Uska Mail Ka Subject Humien Na Bhaya..

Ek Baar Phir Kiya Mail Ka Subject Check
Oh No ..Not Again..Same Words..."Sweets At My Desk"

Darte Darte Khola Mail...Andar Wedding Invitation Paaya
Lo Bhaiya Lut Gayee Duniya...Mandraya Kala Saaya...

Dukhi Mann Se Socha ...Chalo Ek Baar Contents To Padh Lain
Naam Kya Hai Ladke Ka...Details Se Rubaru To Ho Lain...

Phir Ek Baar Mann Chakkar Khaya...Uska Naam Kahin Naa Paaya
Mail Ka Phir Se Audit Kiya...Dil Ko Ncr Report Acha Aaya...

Mail Ke Subject Se Achi Mail Ke Body Nikli
Jiski Shaadi Thi ..Woh To Uski Sister Nikli...

Bhujti Hui Low Phir Phadphadai
Ek Umeed Jaagi..Asha Ki Ek Kiran Nazar Aayee....

Josh Bhare Kadmon Se Rukh Kiya Uske Cubicle Ki Or
Ab Sirf Uski Jhalak Nahin ..Yeh Dil Maange More....

Aaj Tak Cubicle Ki Diwaron Se Dekha Tha Usko
Dekhte Hee Usne Bola ..Lo Dear, Sweets Lo....

Humne Suna "Dear" , Man Main Kaha Ab No Fear.
Jhuki Aankhon Se Kiya Usko Stare, Uthaya Sweats Ka Apna Share..

"Dear" Shabd Kitna Acha Lagne Laga Tha....
Uske Aur Mere Beech Ka Loc Ab Mitne Laga Tha...

Baton Hi Baton Mein Usko Bataya Mail Padke Hua Confusion Tha
Reply Jo Bataya Usne, Phir Se sar chakraya Tha..

Phir Se Low Bhuj Gayee Thi, Umeed Mit Gayee Thi ...
Uski Sagai Ki Mail To Ek Hafte Pahle Bounce Back Ho Chuki Thi...

Maa Kasam Ek Hi Gaana Yaad Aa Raha Tha Cham Se...
Kasam Ki Kasam , Yeh Pyaar Na Hoga Ab Humse...

O Haseeno Sun Lo Meri Iltaaja,
Please Mat Hona Humse Khafa...

Kuch Bhi Ho Jaaye Ab Na Hoga Adjust,
Ab Mat Daalna Mail With Subject "Sweets At My Desk"

I hope ab to aap logon ko bhi mere mitra ki padshani achhi tarah samajh mai aa gai hogi ...!!!!

The Last Conversation

Four friends, after a year-long hiatus in the real world, meet at the same place, where they used to hang out when they were together.. and again they are going to depart ....
"Bhaiya, 4 log hain."
"15 min lagega, ek table khaali ho raha hain"
"Theek hain, hum bahar hain."
After 10 mins. "chalo, table khaali ho gaya hain."
KK: Batru, ek Gold Flake light ka pack.
KK: Cannot believe this is happening man, just cannot believe. This is worse than my graph theory.
Richhie: Basu, kya peeyega jaldi bol, strong?
Dilli: Main to mild loonga, chussu? aur ek starter bhi bolde. Veg logon ka hamesha kat-ta hain.
Basu: haan, 2 strong, 2 mild mangate hain pehle. Ek mushroom chilly bolde.
Richhi: Batrayee, teen kingfisher strong aur ek mild, aur fried chips, chana nahin chahiye. Aur 2 chicken Kabab and ek mushroom chilly.

Kk takes a long hard puff, gives one to Ricchhie, everybody is looking at each other, the radio is playing High Hopes in the background, the dingy room is filled with smoke and poorly lit. The AC is leaking, water is dripping ....but nobody is bothered.

"Beyond the horizon of the place
we lived when we were young
In a world of magnets and miracles
Our thoughts strayed constantly and without boundary
The ringing of the division bell had begun
Along the long road and on down the causeway
Do they still meet there by the cut
"

Dilli: Abe tum itna senti kyun ho rahe ho, aisa to hota hi hain. Har samay waise hi nahin jee sakte.
Richhie: Abe baahar life bahut mushkil hain be, bahut saari cheezon ka dhyan rakhna padta hain. Pehle sab kuch possible lagta tha yaar, ab pata nahin doubts aate hain.
Dilli: Abe sab theek ho jaega, tension mat le. Thoda time lagega, lekin sab theek ho jaega.
Basu: Welcome to the real world dudes. Its time to grow up, time to move away from the glory days.
KK: This is not how I imagined it would be.

"Looking beyond the embers of bridges glowing behind us
To a glimpse of how green it was on the other
taken forwards but sleep walking back again
Dragged by the force of some inner tide
"

Kk: Sahi tha yaar woh, sab kuch kar sakte the. Life was easy, uncomplicated. Didn't have to please anybody.
Dilli: It was just that you guys didnt think about anything, its only now that you have started thinking about things.
Richhie: Nahi aisa nahin hain, shayad tabhi sochne ko kuch tha hi nahin. sab kuch hamare saamne dikhta tha. And everybody was willing to help you.
Basu: Kitne din bachchon ki tarah jeeyoge. For how long do you guys want to lead an easy life? And come to think of it, life would only get harder from here, this is just the beginning.
KK: yes, you are right. But, my mind wants to move on, but the heart is stubborn, it makes me miss everything from yesterday.

"At a higher altitude with flag unfurled
We reached the dizzy heights of that dreamed of world
Encumbered forever by desire and ambition
Theres a hunger still unsatisfied
Our weary eyes still stray to the horizon
Though down this road we've been so many times"


KK: I sometimes wonder, why are we doing all this, why are we going away from everything that we have come to love so much? Why does everything good have to come to an end?
Dilli: To grow as a person, to see the world? Our ambitions? Money ?
Richhie: What about knowledge, experience and education? Those are the things we seek.
Basu: That is all eyewash, everybody wants money and fame, and everything that comes with it. We just use different words to fool others and, in a way, ourselves.
KK: We are all vain. Each one of us. We cannot escape it.

Silence. The outro then melts everything away, even the haze.

"The grass was greener
The light was brighter
The taste was sweeter
The nights of wonder
With friends surrounded
The dawn mist glowing
The water flowing
The endless river "
Forever and ever...........

ThE UnSpOkEn WoRdS ....!!

Don't know how I have written this ... but at end ...... it brought smile on my face....... perhps u will like it ....!!

Another dark night. An eerie silence prevails over everything; I'm sitting in front of my virtual window, alone…The dark which is grabbing everything, I don't know whether it's around me or within me, I don't know what should I write today. Ah! How few words make me wordless?
Today I have my chest full of sorrows of fears and eyes full of painful tears, heart sighing, wishes dying, soul unjocund and dreams broken. I want to weep, no, I just want to smile, no no, I want to say something. Something yet unspoken, Why my silence can't be heard to understand what I have to say. I want to say people things unspoken, but are they ready to hear unheard?
I can hear people laughing outside my room, for they have to, and for them the day is too short to laugh. For me day is always long, but even then why I have to weep in nights. They say they observe what they deserve, I'm blind and confined. Blind because in striving to see between the lines, how I miss the lines, and sometimes to be little cared how much I have to care.
I want to be loved but always looted, be cared but always crushed, be glad but have to be sad, say words but speak sighs, I want to fly but have no sky. I want to dance but never had chance, I want to be heard not hurt….
Let me shatter these fetters today, and shackle the manacles my way. I want to sing the melody of my soul but my soul doesn't like songs but sighs perhaps. My heart desires but yields suspire. I want to glide not hide, be completed not deleted, cherished not perished, use my life not lose my life. What is my phenomenon? What is my dilemma? I am alone since I started speaking and forlorn since I started seeing and torn ever since I born.I'm tired now. I better sleep now. I need sleep a deep cool sleep that so much I dream about. Dreams, my dreams, purposeless, sleepless, aimless dreams. I have yet to learn to dream about life, light, hope, bright eyes, free soul……, dreams where my inner serenity won't be destroyed by anyone………thats all.