We are born in a society where marriage is treated as sacrosanct, something which was fixed in heaven. It is a relationship valid not only in this life but also in lives yet to come. But it is not the way all the people think... being born and brought up in Bihar...i can say atleast this is not the case with people of Bihar.The marriage is more become fixins' the best deal rather than building a new relationship.Though the deal may convert to good relation most of the times,later on.
In this day and age, when we are advancing technologically in every which way possible... thinking ourselves more intelligent and smarter ... but still we are living with the customs of 70's... The Dowry in marriage is one of those.
As the auspicious days of marriages are going to start in couple of months, fathers of many brides have a sleepless nights to find a suitable groom for his daughter... Not because there are not enough guys to choose from but the hefty money and gifts they are asking...
Even the Most "shareef" and educated families do go through the rigmarole of ‘Oh no, no we don’t want any dowry’, ‘But you must!’ etc. After a few minutes of arguing along similar lines, the groom’s family generally finishes with a classic, ‘well we do not want any dowry but we will not stop you from doing whatever you want for your daughter.’ How brilliant is that! In one stroke, the Rs 15 lakhs cash, jewellery of Rs 10 lakhs, couple of plots of land and a car are all labelled as ‘gifts for the girl from her loving parents’ rather than ‘dowry’ and the so-called bitter pill goes down easy. Masterful! Doesn’t this mean how intelligent and smart we become..??
The market of grooms is on boom ....they have both the hands full...and they are ready to sell themselves as the best product for a few lakhs of cash, jewels, vehicles and even property. It may sound real harsh but that is what I feel.....
As inflation is on the rise, so does the market price of grooms. In last 5 years the rise is Aprox. 300% .Highest ever, higher than the booming real estate price in India, I guess.
When the price is getting higher day by day, it is obvious that the buyer will take all the precautions before buying ,so does the bride's father in the buyers shoes.
Few years back they were not much concern about other things if the groom is from well established family and earning good but now they are more concern on other things such as study background ( The college where studied , Company working with( it should be a big brand i.e Infosys,TCS,IBM,CTS,Oracle.... ),if is in Software field whether in testing or developing, how many times has been outsourced to abroad... etc ...etc ... I think they have RTI (Right To Information) to know every single piece of it. When it is a matter of buying then why not buy the best one in a better deal.
So my advice is for the entire eligible bachelor to make your brand image perfect to sell yourself in a bigger and better way without any concern about bride father’s hard earned money.
Although I , myself from a middle class family of Bihar feel " A woman should be able to become someone’s wife who she is; she should’t need anything else to oil the wheels "
