I'm a higher order machine learning to learn...

Just Because..!!

Just because- I'm quiet, doesn't mean I don't have a lot to say.
Just because- I appear happy, doesn't mean everything is okay.
Just because- I'm sarcastic, doesn't mean I don't take things seriously.
Just because- I forgive, doesn't mean I forget.
Just because- I don't listen to your problems, doesn't mean I don't care.
Just because- I'm gullible, doesn't mean I can be cheated.
Just because- I'm stubborn, doesn't mean I'm not easygoing.
Just because- I don't know much, doesn't mean I'm stupid.
Just because- I don't show my feelings, doesn't mean I don't have any.
Just because- I'm honest, doesn't mean I'm outspoken.
Just because- I'm not like you, doesn't mean I'm weird.
Just because- I'm unsure, doesn't mean I'm afraid.

Head vs. Heart

I think too much and I wonder a lot. Sometimes to the extend that my mind doesn't really seem to have a firm grasp on all the thoughts in my head because it's just too much. It's not that I want to plan every move or think every time before I do something. It's more like I want to analyze everything I do and everything that happens to me. I think I'm always looking for a reason, even when there isn't really an apparent one.

A lot of people have the same thing probably and it's pretty much a human trait, but still I wonder if we wouldn't think so much about everything and just accept things the way they are and the way they happen, wouldn't we be able to live much happier lives?

I'm a person who acts on emotions, my heart always wins over my head, but afterwards, the head will analyze everything into the most minuscule detail. I don't know, but maybe I should just let things come as they come. It's not like I'm really gonna change anything much by analyzing it. I think my rational mind wants to learn from it, maybe even protect myself from doing the same thing again if it hurts me or becomes a disadvantage for me. But since I act on my feelings, I would probably do the same thing all over again.

It's a pretty dual thing, makes me think that we people are walking dichotomies.. our feelings and our rationality are often complete opposites.. How do we balance this? I often wonder about it, and I can't find a satisfying answer.

Obviously we do this most of the time and we are able to live happy lives for the most part of our existence, but still I think it's an interesting question, though a bit philosophical of course, to ask how we balance the constant battle of head vs. heart, to put it simply.

I am back..!!

Naahiii, Nope, Nyet, Illaiya....I wasn't on a cross country bike expedition spreading awareness on N1H1,AIDS, Cancer, Polio, Piles,Constipation..or any thing of that sort..neither i was selling agarbattees, detergent or Harman Baweja DVDs door to door... and to all my well wisher friends....nor I was on my honeymoon trip to Switzerland.....I am still single and rocking :).. neither outsource to Vietnam or Afghanistan ...!!

Last 7-8 months I was totally involved in the development of a bad model as a team leader ...The work was quite challenging and sometimes irritating because of frequent change requests .... This is the first large project in last 2 and half year in which I was involved deeply .... but at the end it gives me a big relief and satisfaction when I see the application running smoothly... the sleepless night and the hard work finally paid off .....!!

This project taught me a lot as a developer , as a analyzer as a designer... We generally work under a extreme deadline pressure... and we write the code which just work and gives the correct output... which may not be the clean code and prone to some bugs in future..... since, I read a book named "A clean Code" by Robert C Martin. I am quite impressed with the ideas and trying to write clean code as much as possible at the first place itself and suggested the same to my teammates.. As there is a saying "Dirty code is just like a dirty diaper".

I remember one funny incident ... once I put my status message in gtalk as "Trying to write a clean code " a dear friend of mine commented " Ask your Mom or your kamwali bai to help you out..!!" And I replied "There is no Surf Excel invented so far ..thus neither your mom, nor any of your kamwali bai can help"... better help yourself rather than banging your head later on....!!